Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
