im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
