last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
