My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
