just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
