god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
