am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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