We're facebook friends in real life
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
