a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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