i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
