It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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