This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
