Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just had sex on a roof
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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