So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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