Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
