What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Randomize
