The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
