I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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