Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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