I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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