saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
