all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i believe in u and ur pee
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