WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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