ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
