I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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