You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
