just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize