This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
