There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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