Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
