these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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