I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
