Nicole vs. Life
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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