I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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