talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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