Nicole vs. Life
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
