never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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