My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
