normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
