return my video game
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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