I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
