she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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