Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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