I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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