bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
