I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize