Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
