Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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