my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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