Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
