She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
