Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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