2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
