i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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