Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You did what with his pubic hair?
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