ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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