Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
