I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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