It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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