so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
