how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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