I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
