i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize