dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize